Zeitgeist.

            Daves takings were always slightly down on days that his dual personality started to
to act up.

Ownership.

                                            Today I want to own.......EVERYTHING.

  © atchoo. All rights reserved in perpetuity plus 70 years.

Risk vs Reward.

Question:  Would you shake hands with an old acquaintance if they were carrying a bag of dog poo?

Schism.

                                         Yin and Yangs divorce was particularly messy.

Smoke gets in your eyes.

Frank lit his final cigarette. He had to stop, it was killing him. He inhaled deeply, exhaled slowly and felt the relaxation that very few things in life could offer. Gazing at the lit end and flicking off the ash, the smoke rose and he could see just how badly it would be missed.

OBE.

 Unfortunately the Universe chosen a very bad moment to give Wayne an

Out of Body Experience.                                                                     

Prayer.

   
                                           Now I lay me down to sleep,
                                           I pray the Lord my soul to keep,
                                           (But what I really wish instead,
                                           Is a Body, Legs, Shoulders and Head).

From: Praying Hands, Albrecht Durer 1508.

Sol

For generations they had searched the system, hoping to find a home to seed with humanoids. Time was running out for them and soon would be forced to eject the seed into space to save themselves.
    This lonely planet the third from a small yellow star only brought dismay. They needed a miracle. Then a small figure stepped forwards from out of the gloom and gave the observatory window a really good wipe...

Lady in Red.

For many years the Lady had waited. Waited for her husband to return from the sea, waited by the window looking down the path that led from the street to her front door. On occasion a sailor would stop and stay awhile, but never her husband and never any news. The Lady spoke softly to herself. "Tomorrow I cannot wait at the window for I must be away to the town and speak to the man from the gas company to ask why the mantles are glowing bright red again".

Scrooge.

Scrooge was dismayed that the spirits had appeared for a second year. Fortunately they had the wrong address. So with glad farewells and a merry Christmas all round they were pointed in the direction of Bob Cratchit`s house by Scrooge, who hoped that  the spirits would teach the uppity bastard his proper place in society.

Health and Safety.

After a number of road accidents involving animals, measures were taken to prevent further incidents,  Unfortunately a number of Species were hunted to exrinction in the following months.

N.b. Apologies to Landseer.

3D Printing

The Governor started to regret dragging the Prison workshop into the 21st Century.

Google Glass

Due to an unfortunate interaction between the eyepiece and his Neural Implant, Fred`s consciousness now formed a significant part of his Dropbox account.

Big Data

Now that the behaviour of any individual on the planet could be predicted, the Intelligence Chief worried about the consequences of suddenly switching to Hot chocolate after Thirty years of choosing Coffee in the afternoon.

Exoplanet

Although the Ape like creatures were amusing and mischievious, they were self desructive and so the Scout concluded that they must never be allowed to spread into the Galaxy.