Today I`m thinking about..

Tablet PCs.

Great for news and books but not so useful if you want to start a fire.

Today I`m thinking about..

Cave art.

Easy to find really, just look out for a snooty cavewoman near the entrance.

Today I`m thinking about..

Climate change.

Where is King Canute when you need him.

Today I`m thinking about..

The phone hacking scandal.

If this story appears in the news for much longer it`s going to end up getting a sponsorship deal, logo and a nice range of merchandise.

Today I,m thinking about..

Monetary policy.

We need more money trees.

Today I`m thinking about..

SEO.


I`ve tried using keywords like Torquay, Turkey, Donkey and Hunky but they don`t seem to work for some reason.

Today I`m thinking about..

Vegetarianism.

If it`s got eyes don`t eat it, especially Potatoes and Paninis.

Today I`m thinking about..

UK Economic policy.

Lend us a fiver `til payday or maybe the weekend when my horse comes in.

Today I`m thinking about..

In space no one can hear you scream*.

Sounds like a good place for a Bikini wax..

*Alien (1979)

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0078748/

today I`m thinking about..

Soap.

In your face in the bathroom and on TV.

Today I`m thinking about..

Conspiracy theories.

I suspect that there is a shadowy group of individuals at the heart of government making them up.

Today I`m thinking about..

Spiritualism.

Live for as long as you can it`s really boring on the other side.

Today I`m thinking about..

Google.

If it knows everything why won`t it give me next weeks lottery numbers?

Today I`m thinking about..

Andy Warhol.

I just hope that my fifteen minutes isn`t spent appearing on Crimewatch*.

*http://www.bbc.co.uk/crimewatch/

Today I`m thinking about..

Alien abduction.

You would think that they would at least leave a ransom note.

Today I`m thinking about..

Moores law.

How computer technology causes self reliance to half every eighteen months.

Today I`m thinking about..

Walk a mile in my shoes.*

Who nicked my shoes?

* Elvis Presley.

Today I`m thinking about..

The end of the world.

At least there will be nobody  to say I told you so on the day after.

Today I`m thinking about..

Peak oil.

Guess it`s time for the Clampetts to head on back to the shack in the mountains.

Today I`m thinking about

"At the end of the day".

Commonly called night time I believe.

Today I`m thinking about..

Insanity.

Talking to yourself isn`t the first sign of madness, only the latest.

Today I`m thinking about..

Commercial space travel.

I only hope that they do return tickets.

Today I`m thinking about..

The Afterlife.

Is really the afterdeath.

Today I`m thinking about..

"Going Forward".

Usually said before "falling flat".